Psycho Daisies

 Matsumoto. Yeah, I hadn’t heard of it either. It’s not exactly a name that pops up when people are discussing the highlights of their trip to Japan. Fair enough. The town itself is nothing special but boy, do they have one fucking fantastic castle.

I’ll admit that it’s entirely possible that my gushing enthusiasm is because it’s my first castle, but even taking that into account, this is one impressive building. It’s Japan’s oldest wooden castle (finished in 1595) and, not only is it still standing, it looks almost brand spanking new. And the workmanship…don’t get me started.

These stairs are MUCH steeper than they look.

Think climbing a ladder.

Top of the 6th floor. 

Look at the size of those fucking beams.

I’ll also confess to busting my soba cherry with this lovely lady and her mom. As with so many other purchases here, I first had to buy a ticket from a machine for no apparent reason and then watch my noodles being cooked.

Mmmmm….

And so, in the spirit of  “what the fuck”, I figured I’d crawl out a bit further on the culinary limb.

There are clues in this photo, but they may be difficult/impossible to see.

I won’t even bother making you guess, since it’s so obvious. That’s right, it’s horse meat, a well-known specialty of this area of Japan. I wish I could say the flavour was extraordinary or at least different in some way, but it wasn’t. Sorry - for all of us.

And so, well rested and ready for anything (I thought), I headed out the next morning for Takayama, with a couple of stops planned at quaint “post towns”, remnants of long ago treks. Sure, there might be a bit of snow, but nothing Ted & I couldn’t handle. Uh-huh.

According to Google Maps, here’s the road I was supposed to take to Narai.Not happening and probably should have alerted me to you-know-what.

During a quick stop in Kiso, which turned out to be a Devil’s Toenail candidate, with what was described as a “historic district of atmospheric houses” that in reality consisted of two houses and a building site, I couldn’t help but notice that it was beginning to snow - and snow and snow.

And here we are. 40 of the longest fucking kilometres I have ever driven, up and down, around and around, mountain pass driving at its finest, the terror of sliding off the road and down a cliff broken only by the intervening terror (although maybe it’s just me) of having a 5 kilometre long tunnel collapse on my head.

I know the suspense is killing you, so…

Yes, we made it, although, as you can hopefully see from this shot taken out my hotel room window, just barely.

Just as an aside, since we’re on the subject, actual driving in Japan is pretty much exactly what you would expect - bizarre weather notwithstanding. The stereotype of Japanese people being excessively polite and law-abiding certainly seems based on fact when it comes to their driving. Sure I’ve actually seen someone run a yellow light and another miscreant go 60 in a 50 zone, but other than that, a rule’s a rule. And, by the way, that same philosophy definitely applies to pedestrians. God forbid you would even contemplate either crossing on a red or anywhere besides a designated area. I’ve gotten The Look from people for stepping close to the curb before the light changes. Don’t even think about it.

JAPANESE FUN FACTS

Let’s talk cars. No, not your boring, everyday car. Japanese Kei cars. Look and learn:

Notice anything different about them? Correct - they’re tiny and they look like a shoebox with wheels. The last one is actually called the Honda N Box. And they sell like hotcakes here, since they get special exemptions. But still…did they HAVE to look like this? I’m trying to picture the board meeting:

“Okay boys, we’ve got to have something for these new regulations. It’s got to be small, it’s got to be skinny and it’s got to have a tiny engine. Oh yeah…and it’s got to look silly.”

“Well, exactly how silly, boss?”

“Let me put it this way, Tanaka. There’s no such thing as too silly.”

“Got it boss.”