Flaming Umbrellas

This is going to be SOOOO easy:

Drive through relentless rain, see wondrous sight.

Repeat as necessary.

I’m keep telling myself  that it has absolutely nothing to do with me, but based on the number of times in the recent past I’ve had to drive in torrential downpours with accompanying howling winds, it’s becoming harder and harder to convince myself that it’s purely coincidence. To be honest, I don’t really mind all that much since I’d be wasting the day anyway so what the hell. No, I feel sorry for the innocent bystanders - those hapless victims who’ve planned their itinerary down to the last detail and then spent a fortune on a ryokan to see the waterfall or temple, hike the trail or just walk around outside. I’m haunted by a vision of them staring forlornly out the rain-streaked window and sighing audibly. They are royally fucked. Sorry about that.

My biggest problem is that it’s hard to appreciate the scenery when you’re busy concentrating on trying to keep from running off a narrow road or skidding off a cliff. And doing it for five hours can get somewhat draining. Still, small price to pay.

First reward: Nachi waterfalls, the highest in Japan. And a lovely shrine thrown in for free.

Brief aside: In Shingu (“shitty little town” in spades), I did end up in a restaurant with a little old lady who spoke not a word of English. I just told her to give me whatever she was making and this is what I ended up with:

There was a pork dish as well which, like the stir-fried beef, was “normal”. When she indicated she was grilling some fish, it never crossed my mind that this would be the finished product. Yes, you eat the whole fish, particularly when the cook is watching you. I managed to get away with not eating the tail. Westerners - whaddaya gonna do.

Second treat: a hike on part of the famed Nakasendo Trail between the quaint post towns of Magome and Tsunago. The whole thing is 330 km. and at one time was an important route between Kyoto and Tokyo. Now tourists only, although, blessedly, not very many while I was there. Nice, in a folksy kind of way.

Ring the bell “against a bear”. 

Yep, that oughta do it.

Last, but by no means least: Mt. Fuji. I really had no idea how fucking huge this mountain was. It completely dominates the entire skyline. VERY impressive. Personally I find it hard to believe that anyone in their right mind would want to climb it, but it’s a BIG thing. Hard pass.

So, done & done. Now all that remains is to return the car tomorrow (a drive that, since I have to go through Tokyo, Google Maps tells me will take somewhere between 5 and 10 hours. Oh boy!), catch a train, or trains, from the airport and then find and somehow get into my cozy apartment.

It’s gonna be a L-O-N-G day.

Japanese Fun Facts 

Let’s talk driving - again. Since my initial report and now that I’m a grizzled veteran , I have to say things have changed. Or rather, my naive notions have changed. Yes, the Japanese are still often polite to a fault - did I mention that when you let someone into traffic, they actually bow as well as flashing their hazard lights 3 times? Well they do.

However, it turns out there’s a darker side to their driving. Contrary to what I’d read, they’re NOT merging masters - left, right, left, right. No siree. People rush ahead, people try to skip the line, people pretend you’re not there. Just like home. They also do some serious honking and have a very real propensity for running almost-red lights. And I cannot believe how many of them I see on their phones.

Shocking, I tell you, shocking.