My Cousin’s Suntan

 Seeing as how I had decided to take a day off, I figured a scenic drive through the countryside to Lake Tritriva (a volcanic crater) would be just the thing. The guide book said a 4x4 was necessary. Not a problem. I had The Beast.

Perhaps this should have set off some alarm bells.

Yes, the road conditions seemed to be deteriorating, but I was too busy being enthralled by the scenery - my second mistake.

At some point (already too late as it turns out) it dawned on me that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. Then, a gruelling climb up a rocky hill ended here:

Remember the “mining” in Uganda? This was on a whole other scale. It was like something out of Ben Hur. I know you can’t see them, but there were literally hundreds of people working here, from what looked like toddlers to great-grandpas. Eerie doesn’t do it justice. And they all watched as I frantically turned around - no mean feat - and hightailed it out of there, descending this hill to do so:

Naturally any sane person would have recognized the idiocy of continuing. No need to guess what I did. Finally, after another hour of slipping, sliding, bumping and grinding  - and within a couple of kms of my goal, here’s what stopped me:

Yes, I’m stupid, but even I’m not THAT stupid. I mean, LOOK AT THAT! And if you get stuck here, you may as well pitch a tent because nobody’s coming to get you for a looooong while. So, as the local townsfolk - and there were plenty - watched on, I had to manoeuvre my car around and go all the way back on the very same fucked-up track I’d come on.

Mission Accomplished.