Sofa Jerk

 THIS IS IT!

The absolute pinnacle of adventure travel! A life-altering experience that will irrevocably transform  your life and grant you insights previously only dreamt of! The sina qua non of inter-species communication!

Well, not exactly. I don’t want to dash your high hopes but I feel obliged to begin with a caveat or two. It’s entirely possible that you’ll be overwhelmed by the following photos and descriptions. But it’s just as likely you’ll be underwhelmed (or as Sarah so pithily put it: ”Yep, a gorilla eating leaves”). Is it an “I guess you had to be there” experience? Perhaps. My attempt to “Wow” you is even more severely hampered by my inability to load videos. So no munching or cute gorilla babies for you. Forewarned is forearmed.

Not much to say about the walk up 

Regular trails which quickly devolved into absolute bushwhacking once the gorillas were sighted. Turns out you have to simply follow wherever the fuckers decide they want to go, which unfortunately involves a lot of thrashing through vines and nettles up very steep hills.  

The “Bweza” family that we were stalking consists of 10 members - one silverback, a bunch of females & juveniles and a baby. So up we went, and then…

  

Yep, your classic silverback.

Looking back, it’s embarrassing just how fascinated you can be watching such a patently boring activity. But honestly, he’s just SO big and SO close you’re literally paralyzed with a mixture of awe and fear. It certainly gives your lizard brain something to consider when you’re standing less than 2 metres from a creature that weighs over 250 kg. and could rip you in half before you even moved. ”What the hell were you thinking?” my amygdala was screeching. “ You call this FUN! Run away, stupid, run away!” Foolishly, I stood my ground, and after a while, he shambled on and we met the rest of the troupe.

Go ahead. Tell me this doesn’t look like your wife/Mom/girlfriend listening to your explanation/excuse for the third time. 

Unfortunately, that’s all you’re gonna get. If you have a WhatsApp by all means let me know & I can send you the videos. Otherwise - no munching or babies for you. 

So basically we followed The Gang around for an hour. I have to say that, based on my experience, gorillas don’t exactly lead an exciting, adventurous life. It’s more like visiting a retirement residence populated by huge, hairy clients. I half expected one of them to pull out a deck of cards and suggest a few hands of pinochle. In spite of their lassitude, they’re still absolutely amazing creatures. It’s almost beyond belief to see just how quickly and quietly they can move through the jungle in spite of their enormous size. I have to say, however, that their most memorable feature is the absolutely human expressions and gestures they exhibit. Creepy doesn’t cover it. 

So there you go. Truthfully, my impression is “worthwhile but not life-changing”, although I have to admit that my opinion is definitely in the minority. Everyone else (literally) couldn’t seem to shut up about the magical properties of their interaction with our furry brothers and sisters. 

Is it worth it? Absolutely. 

Did it alter my perception of reality? Nope.

Next up: yet another “Welcome to Africa” tale.