Lucifer’s Toothbrush

 Well, you’ve almost made it. You’re THIS close to reading about my close encounter with our hairy brethren. If you just can’t wait, skip ahead to the next post. If you’re a grown up, I’m going to warm you up with some classy snaps and what might be The Best Serendipity Story Ever. 

First, the drive. Fortunately, as I’ve moved south there seems to be a lot fewer shitholes and a lot better scenery. Judge for yourself:

Naturally, in spite of detailed directions, I managed to get completely lost in Kisoro , only to be plucked from  the jaws of disaster, after endless circling of the town, by the unbelievably fortuitous sighting of the hotel’s Land Cruiser. Cindy quickly got me sorted and I was on my way on the ubiquitous dirt road (7 km, 1 hour). 

Finally I arrived, and quickly moved into the kind of accommodation to which I hope to become accustomed. 

As you may already know, I’m a devoted disciple of  The Serendipity Principle, which basically states that from time to time, and usually unexpectedly, a situation will present itself  that is going to require you to make a decision or leap of faith without knowing the outcome. And I feel fairly confident in saying that the following is without a doubt one of the ultimate examples. See what you think. 

Upon my arrival at Mutanda Lake Resort, I asked the manager, Eric, what the drive to the trek was like.  First, he looked at my tiny toy car, then the pause, which I’ve come to know so well, then, “possible but very difficult”. A quick lesson on road description: first the Ugandan phrase, then the Canadian translation. “Okay/not bad” - “You want me to drive on THAT!” “Possible/difficult” - “I have no wish to live.”

He then told me that there MAY be another group going in  a REAL car and that perhaps I could follow them “just in case”. Great. 

Their car. Notice any differences?

So the next morning I was out there at 6:30 and introduced myself to Gilbert the Driver and Don&Audrey, the rich Floridian passengers. No problem. Happy to help. Of course by now I couldn’t help but notice that we were already a half hour behind schedule and Gilbert’s truck was making strange noises. Whatever. Eventually we begin to climb the driveway, which is similar to driving up the side of a building. Halfway up, his truck dies and absolutely refuses to start. Back down the driveway (a real treat) while I berate myself,”You idiot! What were you thinking? We’re fucked. There goes my $1000 and gorilla trek.” But wait! Seemingly from nowhere Eric appears and says they can use his truck (pictured above) and why don’t I just join them and we can all drive together. Thank you Jesus!

I won’t keep you in suspense. Yes, we made it on time and NO, there is absolutely no way in hell that my car would have made it. Unfortunately I have no photos to illustrate just how unbelievable the “road” was since I was either too busy peeling myself off the ceiling or holding on for dear life. 

Well, okay, I have one, but it certainly doesn’t do the road justice. The fact that I could take the photo proves that.

And the icing on the cake? Because we were so late, they had already finished the briefing and formed the 8 person groups. So they had to put us BY OURSELVES with a ranger & two trackers. Boo hoo. 

Serendipity - I rest my case. 

Next: The moment you’ve all been waiting for: Gorillas in the Mud.