Firstly, someone should have told these people that the Americans LOST the war and that they are communists. If you were historically ignorant and I told you there had been a war here between the USA and the forces of evil, it wouldn't take you a second to see that the Yanks had obviously won. Aside from the vast numbers of scooters, this city is more Western than the West. Yeah, they've kept some of the old French buildings but that's for the tourists. I find it a delicious irony that the Vietnamese have found a way to both rub Westerners' noses in it AND make them pay for the privilege. No-one does revenge like the Asians. But honestly, aside from the War Remnants Museum, which I believe faithfully chronicles the suffering & death of every single NV "patriot" at the hands of the barbaric running dogs (whose progeny now sip lattes in the downstairs cafe) and their fondness for parking salvaged jets and helicopters outside every gov't building, there's no clues at all that this was a war zone.
Communist enough for you?
And, of course, I'm exaggerating to make a point. In truth, Saigon is quite charming in its own way and has managed to keep plenty of "old school" touches. It's a great city to stroll through - well, certain areas at least.
Plus, it's still got the Asian vibe. And THE FOOD!
Houng Lai - waiters are all former street kids, food is to die for, $10!
Anyway, what with all the war memorabilia, street food and the feeling of general well-being, I really got to thinking,"Man, this can't be mere coincidence. I MUST have some Vietnamese blood coursing through my veins."
Pros:
1. I'm already a coffee addict and no-one, and I mean NO-ONE, drinks more coffee than they do here. There's a cafe literally every 10 feet and sometimes they're lined up one after the other.
2. I can cross any busy street in Saigon. This may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but ask anyone who's stood on a sidewalk here (assuming they haven't been mowed down by a scooter while waiting) for hours in sheer terror. The drivers, the local customs and the very layout of the place conspire to treat the pedestrian with the contempt he so richly deserves. You'd get more respect if you went to work on a Pogo stick with a propeller beanie on your head.
3. I already know how to spit, and can both pick my nose and do a "truck driver blow".
Cons:
1. I am physically incapable of eating noodle soup. Again, doesn't seem like much until you realize this is literally the lifeblood of every Vietnamese - breakfast, lunch, snack & dinner. Worse, my attempts are so pathetic that I'm fairly certain there were vigorous debates going on in the food stalls while I was "eating" as to whether they should hire me for my entertainment value - you know those conversations where everyone speaks quickly, there's a pause, they look at you & everyone breaks out laughing? Uh-huh.
2. I'm just too goddam hairy. Twice on the bus - once a young child leaning over the seat in front of me and once a young female bus conductor - I had my arms and legs stroked in a curious yet polite fashion. And I can tell you there were plenty of other passengers who would have loved to give it a go.
So, unfortunately, I believe the final verdict (as it is with so many other things) may be: some but not enough.
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