Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life...

This was NOT supposed to happen.
I’m both a decent guy and a grizzled travel veteran. When I plan a trip, everything goes smoothly. Ask anyone. Why, then, was I having these conversations?

“Of course you can buy your ticket elsewhere and have us make arrangements for your bicycle. No problem whatsoever.“
”I have no idea why he told you that Señor. It’s against our policy and we will NOT do that.”

“ Hey, dude. We finally got your bike frame. Unfortunately, it’s a bummer, man. It’s cracked in two places and your ten year warranty expired last month. “

“Hello? Mr. Brown? This is Dolores from Azores Airlines. I’m calling to let you know that your flight to the Azores on the 15th will be delayed for 8 hours and will not be departing until 3:00 am.”

There’s a pattern here and it’s not a good one. However, as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and after 15 phone calls, a helping hand from good old Full Cycle and a pleasant evening in the airport with my travelling companions, I at last found myself on Sao Miguel in the Azores. And now, after 2 delightful weeks here, I can honestly say it was all worth it.

As you can see, Sao Miguel resembles - well, nothing really, except perhaps an amoeba or a misshapen fruit. The important thing to know is that it’s volcanic. So everything that’s brown in the picture is as steep as a fucking wall and usually covered in clouds and the coastline is jagged and basically one giant cliff after another à la European “cathedral, cathedral, cathedral” and the African “giraffe, giraffe, giraffe”.
Fortunately, and contrary to the whiny bullshit advice given on the Interweb (“Don’t go in January. It rains all the time.” “Ooooh, it’s cold and windy. We couldn’t do anything.”), we had great, or at least great enough, weather for 2 solid weeks. This allowed our merry group, under the leadership of Sir Edmund d’Eça, to hike our asses off every single day, once I roused the Dynamic Duo from their lethargy (my theory - Carnivores:”We must get out and hunt, lest we starve.” Vegans:”We have only to watch the grass grow. Mother Nature will provide.”). And in answer to your unspoken questions, Yes, we did get lost - but only briefly - and yes, a hike or two was a bit underwhelming, but for the most part we felt as though we were in a hiker’s paradise. Glorious solitude, stunning vistas, the whole nine yards. Here, I’ll show you:

                                                           You want cliffs? I got cliffs

                                                        You want craters? No problem.

     You want hordes of tourists relentlessly snapping selfies? Can’t help you there.

Ignore those losers in the above  photos. Obviously, you can never completely escape the geriatrics wandering around the countryside.

So, yeah, things turned out pretty, pretty good considering the barrage of negative pre-trip warnings with which we’d been inundated. Which only goes to prove that old adage:
Choose your destinations and travelling companions wisely.

Next time: If Food Be The Food of Food, Food On (with apologies to Will)